Mum sitting here with u now still doesn't seem real but I know it is.. My god this is so hard, it hurts like nothing I've ever felt and I don't know what to do...I'm sat here talking to u half expecting u to answer me but I know that will never be... Ever again... I find that hard to deal with and I don't know how or even if I'll ever come to terms with it properly but I guess I'll have to just do what I'm doing now and put up a front... Miss u more every single day that passes mum... Love u xxx